Feedings

I feel like I need to share my experiences regarding the early feeding choices I have made with Thomas and JT.

With JT, I felt like I had my hands tied.  I did not get to see him much during the first 2 weeks of his life since he was in the NICU.  This was due in part to having to drive an hour both ways to get to the NICU and my very slow recovery from the emergency c-section.  I spent almost 4 days in the hospital.  The only thing that got stuck in my head was this bit of info from the nurses and lactation consultants - breastmilk will be the best thing for JT to get him big and healthy.  So to get my baby strong as quickly as possible, I made the decision to pump.  I had no problems producing - heck the NICU ended up sending a bunch of frozen milk back home with us.  When we got home, we got the green light to try breastfeeding.

And then the trouble began.  We tried for almost 4 weeks (and yes, I continued pumping this entire time).  I had no problem with any of the holds.  It just was not working.  Our breastfeeding experience ended with an excruciatingly painful bout of mastitis.  Once I got over that, I continued pumping for another 2 months.  The milk lasted through until JT was about 6 months old - when we made the switch to formula.

While pregnant with Thomas, I told myself that I would take another stab at breastfeeding again.  New baby, whole new start.  Again, I had no issues producing.  I guess I was an oddity because all the nurses just seemed so impressed.  But during early those days at the hospital, I could tell something was not right.  I think I must have called in every lactation consultant the hospital had on hand.  My holds were perfectly fine, latches were great!  (I had had quite a bit of practice, right?)  The nurses would come in and check my pain level from the c-section - no issues there.  What was totally painful was the breastfeeding - and it took me right back to my frustrations with JT.  I knew it was all wrong.

I told the nursing staff I could not continue this route - I've already done this once.  I knew what was in store.  Can we please get Thomas on formula?  Then I got read the riot act - well, why don't you pump?  It is so much more beneficial.  Yes, I know that it is.  I did it with my first son.  So why go formula?  Because I know the commitment of pumping and I know that the breastfeeding was not going the right way, but most importantly, I need to be able to be mom to both of my boys - not neglect one for the other.  I was a hot hormonal mess and that probably didn't come out quite as artfully.  After the hubby, stepped in to say this is what I want and is best for us, we got some formula.

You may ask yourself now that we are 3 weeks out - do I regret this decision?  No.  I am in such a better place mentally and physically than I was with JT.  Okay, I will not deny that I am exhausted.  Thankfully, we didn't have to wait near 3 months before some started sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time overnight.  I can get about 5 hours of sleep at night and it feels glorious.  Not to mention, I have time between feedings to hang with JT and not be hooked up to my pump, or be cleaning pumping pieces.

So, I won't judge anyone about their baby feeding choices - so long as their baby and mom is happy and healthy - who cares!  Just my take on the formula vs breastfeeding wars.