Empty

This past weekend has been absolutely amazing. Monday on the other hand....the opposite. It is the first time since I've been here that my apartment actually felt like a home. Having Andrew here was wonderful. Enjoyed a delicious dinner out Friday evening at a new place called Al's Upstairs. Really outstanding Italian food, very upscale, but god it was worth it. Saturday we went out tailgating with a couple of the friends I've made here at SC. Made a couple of yummy late evening dinners - with a little help of course. Not to mention someone started me on a very very bad behavior. But goodness, those cigars are quite soothing and relaxing.

But today, is not so great. Okay, so maybe I heard that I did everything right on my linear algebra quiz- big freakin' whooop-dee-do. But I left Andrew at the airport about an hour ago. My entire drive back to my apartment was a fight. I could feel the water welling up. I managed to make it back without accident and up to my place without really looking too horribly, but the second I closed that door-I found myself on the floor. I couldn't control it. My entire body just hurts - it aches. I managed to calm down a bit to go into the kitchen, but I saw dishes from breakfast this morning and it started all over again. It seems like everything is missing- it's all wrong.

I don't believe I've ever felt in this much pain- with one exception. I thought I was stronger. I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight- something is very very empty now and will be for a while. God, this week is just going to be a disaster.

I need to somehow calm down...I thought this would help a bit...but I haven't stopped sobbing at all.