I have successfully managed to get my internet situation all worked out. We will glaze over the fact that I have been inadvertantly (probably more like advertantly) accessing a not password protected wireless network for the past year - and jump to the fact that I feel like an adult for having done this all myself - outside of several rantings to the parents about the insanity of it all.
The whole situation made me feel really disconnected from everything - work that needed to be accomplished online for my classes (not that I really enjoy assigning work online for my students but alas), communication with Andrew, paying bills, wedding planning (yes i do a lot of legwork by checking information out on line), general email, accessing news (yes i have a perfectly good television - but I'm not a fan of news bias), my favorite checking the weather (which should be easy seeing as a have a perfectly good balcony to step out onto). I also felt like I lacked some sort of basic human knowledge on how to lead my life without the gateway of the internet.
I believe what made all of this seem even more out of proportion is the fact that this week was the first full week of classes - I had so many little tasks to get done - I was exhausted by Monday afternoon. What's worse - to use the internet I needed to be in my office at school - and yeah offices are great - but they are in no way comfortable. I feel like I was on the verge of becoming sick from stress and overworking myself. I think that I have calmed down. At the very least this weekend is a long weekend and I should be able to relax.
Sad note: This week two very very close people have decided to put their pets to sleep. Both pets lived long lives - about 17 years in each case. It makes me think about Kona - and even though I'm not there - what a wonderful dog he is. That throughout high school - I would wake up early and he would sit in my lap and watch some silly cartoons before I had to head out. That when I would have the house to myself for a couple of days - Kona always made it a point to fall asleep in my room so I wasn't by myself (not to mention make sure i got up at the crack of dawn by jingling his collar and jumping onto my bed). Pets are so wonderful like that. They make you feel like you are a part of something - or a Cesar Millan would say - part of the "pack" and being part of the pack is all you needed.
Best First Day of School....EVER!
This is my phrase for the day.
This summer has been grueling. Not relaxing, not super fun, but annoyingly filled with work. Last week I took both the Algebra and the Analysis Qualifying exams. The Algebra exam was a bit harder than I thought - but doable if I didn't have a mental road block the size of Texas hanging around my brain. The Analysis exam must have been a god-send for me. The questions were exactly the questions that were on the exams for the semester. It was good then that I had spent a bunch of time on the exams we had done in class.
But still everything this summer has been unsure.
I taught my first class today - an intensive basic algebra course. Forty students. I have felt overwhelmed the past two days with the amount of prep work I felt I needed to do. But that feeling has somewhat washed over me - if I just spend a bit of time early in the semester getting all of this planned out - the course will seem like a non-issue at the end of the semester. I think it will be a good group - but that is just my initial impressions.
When I returned from teaching - I had heard that the qualifying exam results were in. Almost everyone had checked to find out how they did. So I traipsed up the stairs to my mailbox. My mailbox is one of the top-most boxes, so I slowly slid the envelope towards me. I held onto the envelope and walked back downstairs to my office. I opened the letter. First glance - crap there is like nothing at all written in the letter I must have failed. Second glance - "your performance on the blah blah blah exam"..."so we have decided to recommend you"...Third glance - "congratulations on this milestone" What??!?!?! It wasn't until the 4th reading of this tiny letter that it sunk in - I have PHD passed the qualifying exams and I am officially part of the PHD program here at SC.
Now this brings up a lot of decisions - particularly life decisions. I don't know all the possible options I have to complete this doctorate - that is if I still want to. It is quite an ego boost to see that these people believe I have some sort of mathematical ability. The Sparacio theorem is still very tempting to me. But I need to really think this through.
I also had graph theory and fourier analysis today - both of which turned out to be halfway decent and I managed to finish up my work for those classes. It is very satisfying.
Anyway - I am tired from worrying and hungry from a long day. So I might just sign off.
This summer has been grueling. Not relaxing, not super fun, but annoyingly filled with work. Last week I took both the Algebra and the Analysis Qualifying exams. The Algebra exam was a bit harder than I thought - but doable if I didn't have a mental road block the size of Texas hanging around my brain. The Analysis exam must have been a god-send for me. The questions were exactly the questions that were on the exams for the semester. It was good then that I had spent a bunch of time on the exams we had done in class.
But still everything this summer has been unsure.
I taught my first class today - an intensive basic algebra course. Forty students. I have felt overwhelmed the past two days with the amount of prep work I felt I needed to do. But that feeling has somewhat washed over me - if I just spend a bit of time early in the semester getting all of this planned out - the course will seem like a non-issue at the end of the semester. I think it will be a good group - but that is just my initial impressions.
When I returned from teaching - I had heard that the qualifying exam results were in. Almost everyone had checked to find out how they did. So I traipsed up the stairs to my mailbox. My mailbox is one of the top-most boxes, so I slowly slid the envelope towards me. I held onto the envelope and walked back downstairs to my office. I opened the letter. First glance - crap there is like nothing at all written in the letter I must have failed. Second glance - "your performance on the blah blah blah exam"..."so we have decided to recommend you"...Third glance - "congratulations on this milestone" What??!?!?! It wasn't until the 4th reading of this tiny letter that it sunk in - I have PHD passed the qualifying exams and I am officially part of the PHD program here at SC.
Now this brings up a lot of decisions - particularly life decisions. I don't know all the possible options I have to complete this doctorate - that is if I still want to. It is quite an ego boost to see that these people believe I have some sort of mathematical ability. The Sparacio theorem is still very tempting to me. But I need to really think this through.
I also had graph theory and fourier analysis today - both of which turned out to be halfway decent and I managed to finish up my work for those classes. It is very satisfying.
Anyway - I am tired from worrying and hungry from a long day. So I might just sign off.
Holy Metal Batman!!!
Oh this has nothing to do with Batman - although lately I have seen Christian Bale a number of times when I have had the opportunity to turn on my tv.
MONKEY!!!
This story by far has been the most amusing thing I have read over the past couple of weeks.
But in less than 10 days - I most likely will have completed my qualifying exams. I will be free to relax for a total of 6 days (yeah right!) before classes begin for the fall.
Who's totally excited?!?!?!
not me.
MONKEY!!!
This story by far has been the most amusing thing I have read over the past couple of weeks.
But in less than 10 days - I most likely will have completed my qualifying exams. I will be free to relax for a total of 6 days (yeah right!) before classes begin for the fall.
Who's totally excited?!?!?!
not me.
Studying bites...
I just figured I would let everyone know that in the next few days Andrew is moving to yet another place in Iraq. So if you have been sending him little notes - I have a new address for you. Just drop me a line and I'll pass it along to you.
Studying bites the big one. I don't understand the need for this - two daylong events to muddle the brain thoroughly. I did manage to pass all 4 classes on which this material will be comprised - why if I had to take a final for all 4 of these, do I need to take more exams on it?
Blech. I'll stop complaining now. I'll just continue to feel grossly inadequate for the next two and a half weeks.
Studying bites the big one. I don't understand the need for this - two daylong events to muddle the brain thoroughly. I did manage to pass all 4 classes on which this material will be comprised - why if I had to take a final for all 4 of these, do I need to take more exams on it?
Blech. I'll stop complaining now. I'll just continue to feel grossly inadequate for the next two and a half weeks.
What's Due...
Well - surprisingly...or maybe unsurprisingly - it seems like I have managed to be quite busy and productive over the past couple of weeks.
In math news - I believe although I have not confirmed (since I still have a few more problems to go) that I am pretty much done with all the Algebra (Linear and Numerical) studying. For some reason - it seems to come somewhat easily. Maybe the classes were taught really well - who knows. I just feel like I have a really good foundation in it. So what does this mean? It means for the next 2 weeks or so, I need to work on Analysis. I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a pencil. No - I'd rather write a 20 page paper on, I don't know, the effect of Velcro on society. Yes, it is indeed that bad. But if I can muddle my way through two semesters of it alright - then maybe just maybe I can muddle through this as well.
In wedding news - My mom was supposed to fly down for a weekend of fun dress shopping. Her flight ot cancelled. So instead my mom and dad decided to drive down to visit for the weekend. I went out dress shopping with Mom, Amanda, her mom, and Mrs. Sawyer (Amanda's soon to be mother-in-law) in the Charlotte area for the day. We both found our dresses and bridesmaid dresses. What I suppose is the funny thing - is that the dresses we both loved - were right here in Columbia. My bridesmaid dresses are here too. It turns out great because I won't have to spend half a day - if I need to get alterations done or anything like that. I think I have pretty much found my photographer, I just need to contact her. I think I may also have the florist in the bag as well. All I need is the DJ. What I feel bad about is the fact that - they (the DJ's) keep calling my home in Jersey. So my parents try to tell them that I am in South Carolina in graduate school at the moment - this is apparently not an acceptable answer. She won't be back in New Jersey until October - still no good. So I think just to get them all off of my parents back - I will need to pick one - and soon. The end of May is prom season - big time for DJs - and I want a good one. If I can manage that - then I think I am home clear for a little while.
In NOT my wedding news - well, most of the group of friends I made here in Columbia is all engaged. Next summer is going to be quite a busy time for me. But it will be really fun. For the upcoming November wedding I am in - there was what one would call a huge argument leading to falling out in the bridal party. So there was lots of drama going on. But it seems to have died down now. I picked up a nice gift for the bridal shower, and prizes for some games we are playing (yes the drama was about these little games and favors - yet for some reason, I, the person in charge of obtaining said prizes and favors, did not start any of the drama).
In Harry Potter news - I went to the midnight showing of Order of the Phoenix. For some reason, I just did not enjoy it - could have been the movie itself, or it could have just been the really annoying audience. I'd like to give the movie a second chance but I have no idea when I will have a chance to see it. I hope it comes out soon on DVD. I spent most of yesterday reading the Deathly Hallows. I think what may be more impressive is that this weekend I completed about 15-20 Numerical problems and read all of the Harry Potter book. Yes, it was a bit quick. But prior to this I was only half way through book 5. So I will continue on through 5, finish six, and then slowly read 7 again. Because I really wanted to find out how it ended and knew that if I read it while studying for the quals - it would take me until August to finish the book. That would just be unacceptable. I've heard that some people are unhappy with it - oh well. I enjoyed it - and I suppose that is all that counts right? I think though that I might go through some withdrawl now. I'll need to find some other series to get hooked on. I hear the next good book is by Roderick Gordon called Tunnels. I believe it is out in the UK but won't be in the US until next year - see if I can get my hands on a UK version of it. I guess too that I am still waiting for the third installment in Eragon and Eldest.
In me news - 15 days of leave is the biggest tease the army could have ever thought of. Jerks. I feel almost exactly like when Andy first left in November. It is starting to wear down a bit - but that just might be the fact that I'm getting really nervous about these stupid tests.
Update you all when I can.
In math news - I believe although I have not confirmed (since I still have a few more problems to go) that I am pretty much done with all the Algebra (Linear and Numerical) studying. For some reason - it seems to come somewhat easily. Maybe the classes were taught really well - who knows. I just feel like I have a really good foundation in it. So what does this mean? It means for the next 2 weeks or so, I need to work on Analysis. I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a pencil. No - I'd rather write a 20 page paper on, I don't know, the effect of Velcro on society. Yes, it is indeed that bad. But if I can muddle my way through two semesters of it alright - then maybe just maybe I can muddle through this as well.
In wedding news - My mom was supposed to fly down for a weekend of fun dress shopping. Her flight ot cancelled. So instead my mom and dad decided to drive down to visit for the weekend. I went out dress shopping with Mom, Amanda, her mom, and Mrs. Sawyer (Amanda's soon to be mother-in-law) in the Charlotte area for the day. We both found our dresses and bridesmaid dresses. What I suppose is the funny thing - is that the dresses we both loved - were right here in Columbia. My bridesmaid dresses are here too. It turns out great because I won't have to spend half a day - if I need to get alterations done or anything like that. I think I have pretty much found my photographer, I just need to contact her. I think I may also have the florist in the bag as well. All I need is the DJ. What I feel bad about is the fact that - they (the DJ's) keep calling my home in Jersey. So my parents try to tell them that I am in South Carolina in graduate school at the moment - this is apparently not an acceptable answer. She won't be back in New Jersey until October - still no good. So I think just to get them all off of my parents back - I will need to pick one - and soon. The end of May is prom season - big time for DJs - and I want a good one. If I can manage that - then I think I am home clear for a little while.
In NOT my wedding news - well, most of the group of friends I made here in Columbia is all engaged. Next summer is going to be quite a busy time for me. But it will be really fun. For the upcoming November wedding I am in - there was what one would call a huge argument leading to falling out in the bridal party. So there was lots of drama going on. But it seems to have died down now. I picked up a nice gift for the bridal shower, and prizes for some games we are playing (yes the drama was about these little games and favors - yet for some reason, I, the person in charge of obtaining said prizes and favors, did not start any of the drama).
In Harry Potter news - I went to the midnight showing of Order of the Phoenix. For some reason, I just did not enjoy it - could have been the movie itself, or it could have just been the really annoying audience. I'd like to give the movie a second chance but I have no idea when I will have a chance to see it. I hope it comes out soon on DVD. I spent most of yesterday reading the Deathly Hallows. I think what may be more impressive is that this weekend I completed about 15-20 Numerical problems and read all of the Harry Potter book. Yes, it was a bit quick. But prior to this I was only half way through book 5. So I will continue on through 5, finish six, and then slowly read 7 again. Because I really wanted to find out how it ended and knew that if I read it while studying for the quals - it would take me until August to finish the book. That would just be unacceptable. I've heard that some people are unhappy with it - oh well. I enjoyed it - and I suppose that is all that counts right? I think though that I might go through some withdrawl now. I'll need to find some other series to get hooked on. I hear the next good book is by Roderick Gordon called Tunnels. I believe it is out in the UK but won't be in the US until next year - see if I can get my hands on a UK version of it. I guess too that I am still waiting for the third installment in Eragon and Eldest.
In me news - 15 days of leave is the biggest tease the army could have ever thought of. Jerks. I feel almost exactly like when Andy first left in November. It is starting to wear down a bit - but that just might be the fact that I'm getting really nervous about these stupid tests.
Update you all when I can.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Wow. What a good book! I am not disappointed in the slightest. I won't go into detail either - Rowling created a wonderful story. That I think is all that I will say.
IOU
I plan on writing a more substantial note about life in general. But I was in the car and I heard this Avril Lavigne song. I don't know how I feel about it on the whole - musical composition wise - but the lyrics hit home.
When You're gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is out tonight - I plan on picking it up at 12:01 am. Then I will commence on reading it - so the next post will go up after that is all finished. I am excited, yet sad about it. Rowling says either people will love it or loathe it - I would hope after six books that I do not end up loathing the entire story. Then it seems like all the thoughts and contemplations would have gone to waste. And really would take you seriously if you say - you know what I only read up until the 6th book - I just don't like that 7th.
Oh well I need to manage some more math in for the day. :o(
When You're gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is out tonight - I plan on picking it up at 12:01 am. Then I will commence on reading it - so the next post will go up after that is all finished. I am excited, yet sad about it. Rowling says either people will love it or loathe it - I would hope after six books that I do not end up loathing the entire story. Then it seems like all the thoughts and contemplations would have gone to waste. And really would take you seriously if you say - you know what I only read up until the 6th book - I just don't like that 7th.
Oh well I need to manage some more math in for the day. :o(
Last Evening of fun
I feel like I need to say this somewhere and for it to matter. Right now I lack any and all motivation.
This is the end of the procrastination. Tomorrow starts a new day. Days where I stick my head in a math book and that is where it will be for a good number of hours. I will eat, drink, and sleep math. I have spoken to a couple of you about my qualifying exams - and thank you for all of your support. But I lack some, okay, a lot of confidence in myself that I will do well. But I suppose the only time I will know for sure is after I finish the exams.
So for now I am going to put some of my wedding planning on hold - excepting maybe my dress shopping and speaking with some dj's because I could spend all day (ie today) just doing research. Oh I can't forget - I will make time for Harry Potter- (10 days movie, 20 days book). EEEP! But I will accomplish some major mathematical feats in each of those time periods, or well, I intend to.
With that - a little video games to finish off my last night of fun.
This is the end of the procrastination. Tomorrow starts a new day. Days where I stick my head in a math book and that is where it will be for a good number of hours. I will eat, drink, and sleep math. I have spoken to a couple of you about my qualifying exams - and thank you for all of your support. But I lack some, okay, a lot of confidence in myself that I will do well. But I suppose the only time I will know for sure is after I finish the exams.
So for now I am going to put some of my wedding planning on hold - excepting maybe my dress shopping and speaking with some dj's because I could spend all day (ie today) just doing research. Oh I can't forget - I will make time for Harry Potter- (10 days movie, 20 days book). EEEP! But I will accomplish some major mathematical feats in each of those time periods, or well, I intend to.
With that - a little video games to finish off my last night of fun.
Residues and Residuals
So I have finally gotten myself into a respectable routine. I apologize to everyone who has contacted me recently via email, phone, im, telepathically - I will get in contact with you. I swear.
Yes, Andrew and I got engaged. Sam says I'm not enthused enough. I am very happy, overjoyed - but it got overshadowed by the fact that I knew Andrew was leaving again. But I have gotten myself together again - working on planning the wedding has really helped (not only giving me an excuse to try on expensive pretty dresses), I feel like by accomplishing all these big/little tasks it brings him closer to being home. I need that. But I am torn somewhat because I am not able to discuss all of my frustrations and triumphs with getting things ready in a 25 minute phone call, or emails (absolutely wonderful) but those don't cut it emotionally.
At least while we were both together, we got to decide on date, church, and reception site. Even got the ball rolling at my church - yes Roman Catholics do have a bunch of things to do : apply to the church, do FOCCUS, marriage prep sessions, and meetings with the pastor. I'm glad Andrew was around for that. I seem to have trouble doing the big decisions, I always get caught up in the little details of things. Now it is just a matter of everything else - gowns, bridesmaids, groomsmen, save the dates, invitations, thank yous, registries, caterers, photographers, favors, djs, bridal showers, bachelor/ette parties, flowers, linens, silverware, god knows there is probably more. No wonder people make a ton of money in the wedding industry. I think they just make up stuff as tradition so that people will buy into it.
But as you can imagine - working all of that out is a tad bit more enjoyable than all the information I should be studying for my qualifying exams in August. It is a it tougher since I am in South Carolina and nowhere near Jersey. I talked to a dj last night (no, actually he called me - i did not make first contact) and he wanted to know when I could come and see all the dj's. I tried to tell him I'm not at the dj stage and I'm nearly 700 miles away. But it didn't stop him at all. "When will you be back?" "Maybe....October." "oh" "I can't come back any earlier - I'm teaching in July through August, the next semester starts in August - my first free long weekend is in October". Really - they expect me to drop three to four hundred bucks on a plane flight every time I need to see a florist, photographer, or a dj, then they are freakin' nuts. Oh well, I suppose I will be very very busy when I go home in October.
Happier note - Mom agreed to come down middle of July to come dress shopping with me, Amanda, Amanda's mom, and Mrs. Sawyer in Charlotte. Keep your fingers crossed that I find "the dress". I don't want to get scolded by any more bridal boutique attendants that I should be buying my dress - right now for it to be ready in time for my wedding.
I suppose I should do something productive - like stare at the stack of math books I have - maybe something will sink it. Catch ya later.
Yes, Andrew and I got engaged. Sam says I'm not enthused enough. I am very happy, overjoyed - but it got overshadowed by the fact that I knew Andrew was leaving again. But I have gotten myself together again - working on planning the wedding has really helped (not only giving me an excuse to try on expensive pretty dresses), I feel like by accomplishing all these big/little tasks it brings him closer to being home. I need that. But I am torn somewhat because I am not able to discuss all of my frustrations and triumphs with getting things ready in a 25 minute phone call, or emails (absolutely wonderful) but those don't cut it emotionally.
At least while we were both together, we got to decide on date, church, and reception site. Even got the ball rolling at my church - yes Roman Catholics do have a bunch of things to do : apply to the church, do FOCCUS, marriage prep sessions, and meetings with the pastor. I'm glad Andrew was around for that. I seem to have trouble doing the big decisions, I always get caught up in the little details of things. Now it is just a matter of everything else - gowns, bridesmaids, groomsmen, save the dates, invitations, thank yous, registries, caterers, photographers, favors, djs, bridal showers, bachelor/ette parties, flowers, linens, silverware, god knows there is probably more. No wonder people make a ton of money in the wedding industry. I think they just make up stuff as tradition so that people will buy into it.
But as you can imagine - working all of that out is a tad bit more enjoyable than all the information I should be studying for my qualifying exams in August. It is a it tougher since I am in South Carolina and nowhere near Jersey. I talked to a dj last night (no, actually he called me - i did not make first contact) and he wanted to know when I could come and see all the dj's. I tried to tell him I'm not at the dj stage and I'm nearly 700 miles away. But it didn't stop him at all. "When will you be back?" "Maybe....October." "oh" "I can't come back any earlier - I'm teaching in July through August, the next semester starts in August - my first free long weekend is in October". Really - they expect me to drop three to four hundred bucks on a plane flight every time I need to see a florist, photographer, or a dj, then they are freakin' nuts. Oh well, I suppose I will be very very busy when I go home in October.
Happier note - Mom agreed to come down middle of July to come dress shopping with me, Amanda, Amanda's mom, and Mrs. Sawyer in Charlotte. Keep your fingers crossed that I find "the dress". I don't want to get scolded by any more bridal boutique attendants that I should be buying my dress - right now for it to be ready in time for my wedding.
I suppose I should do something productive - like stare at the stack of math books I have - maybe something will sink it. Catch ya later.
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