Hot shizzle!!

One week from right now (exact timing is key), I will be standing in front of my first college class, telling them I won't take no crap from nobody. So exciting.

another friday night...

and I realize how much I miss going to Market Cross with Suzer, Cryssy, and "The Boys", as we like to call them. The place was just so welcoming. I wouldn't dare go out any place here without someone else.

But alack, everyone else has gone out. Josh and Rusty are going out. Beckie, James, Scott, and V. Steve are all out to-I'm supposing-the NB bars. Saving grace, I got to meet up with Rusty. We went out to Dunkin' Donuts. Just spent hours talking. It was so easy. I love Rusty's creative juices and I just wish I had an ounce of it. Hopefully we'll get to hang out more often. He and I just are on the same wavelength of liking to learn about things, although us both in different areas.

Yesterday was the first day in 3 weeks I went to have fast food for dinner. Okay so I had some sushi and a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. Yes I know it's weird, but it used to be so delicious. Damn the Chick-Fil-A went right through me. I guess that means no more fast food for me.

oh just ignore all that crap above, i'm in a mood. one that likes to question the reason why things happen the way they do...

But I am happy that Suzer and Cryssy can come down next friday (barring illness). I'll feel better going to the fox and the hound with them. But I need to figure out something fun to do for saturday morning/afternoon.

Bored

Let's just say work is totally uneventful. No pressures, no tasks to complete. Just waiting for all the stuff to land in my lap in a weeks time.

I picked up the Jack's Mannequin cd yesterday, along with the second book of the dragon series I am reading. The book is called "Eldest". I unfortunately can't read it at the moment cause I'm smack in the middle of the chronicles of narnia. I've learned a long time ago that if I try to read more than one book at a time, I just throroughly confuse myself. Anyways, the cd is great. I can't quite put my finger on what it sounds like. It's definitely not Something Corporate, although I could see maybe one or two songs working for them. It isn't like Coldplay rock, but it has some of the softness of it. Ugh, I guess this is why no one has hired me to write music reviews. I'd be the person who said, I liked it, you go out and buy it to find out for yourself. The one song I really enjoy is "I'm Ready"
[And today was a day just like any other]

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won't feel your tires on the street
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop, Keep pushing
I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call

I am aware, I've been misled
I disconnect my heart, my head
Don't wanna recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop

[I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
(And I'm Fighting the words...)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you're getting away...)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.]

Well, I'm ready, to drop, well, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop, oh
Well, keep pushing, I'm ready to fall
Well, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't call
I'm ready so don't call, oh... oh... oh...

It is just a good song, too bad I don't know how to get music to play on my livejournal page. Not that it matters or anything.

Knitting is good- I have about a foot of my scarf completed, only like 20 more repetitions left to before the scarf is done. Looks halfway decent if I do say so myself.

Everyone should be happy. I have actually started filling out the online graduate school application forms. Yeah I haven't written up a personal statment, but half the battle is actually writing your name on the forms. I am a little hesistant on how I should go about contacting the professors to ask them to write my letters of recommendation. I obviously need to do it before I send in the forms but...I don't know if I should email them, call, send a note in the mail. I think emailing may be the quickest. But I don't know if that shows how serious you are.

Probably should go fill more of them out then.

word

Hmmm...what's going on? Mom finished the first shot of chemo. She is doing well, or that is what it seems. They keep running blood tests as part of the clinical trial...and it looks like everything is in the clear, just as normal as you and me. I fixed dinner tonight, my first attempt at one of the recipes in the new cancer cookbooks I bought. Outside of me being the slowest food preparer in the world, the actual cooking part took me like 15 minutes tops. The meal was delicious and healthy all at the same time. Made some angel hair pasta coated in little bit of garlic, oil, chopped "fresh" tomatoes, and avocados. I never would have thought of avocados, but damn it was good eatin'. Tomorrow I am going to attempt a chicken, barley, and bowtie soup. Doesn't look to be that difficult.

Also, the lil' bro left for school today. It's a little sad. I'm going to miss being able to yell words like "turd" around the house and it be funny funny. But at least last night we got to go out, just him and me, to the Cheesecake Factory, even if it did take them longer than an hour to seat us and get us our food. The poor pupper is a bit unhappy about things. But he'll adjust.

The knitting is coming along...thank you ladies for all of your tidbits. The book I picked up had loads of pictures, and lots of patterns and projects to try. I guess my big problem now is trying to figure out what type of yarn to use for a hat that won't be super scratchy? Mom has already said wool is out, as well as, 100% acrylic yarn. *I have a hat that is 100% acrylic, and she doesn't like it that much (I love the hat, but I guess that is cause I have this mess of hair on my head.)*

Trying to figure out what to do for my birthday, (maybe suzer can come down, and cryssy too), maybe a movie, maybe go to the imax theater, maybe go out and drink myself silly, maybe i don't know...go bowling. I have no idea. Thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

^signing off.

Question

I know that some of you girls knit...and I wanted to know...how long do you think it would take for me to knit a hat (seeing as I have no knitting experience)??? I would like to try to knit one ofr my mom as a christmas present..I think...and maybe a scarf. I'm totally clueless on what is involved with it...so if anyone can fill me in, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Mom goes in for chemo on Monday. She is going to be part of a clinical trial, so she is in the hospital a little longer than usual. But the upside is the doctors are more attentive to everything that is going on.

I am trying to start my application process. Busy waiting to hear Prof. Richeson's thoughts on my picks. Also desperately thinking of how to write this personal statement :oP.

Work is still nuts, things just don't seem to be settling down. Why does crap seem to hit the fan when I try to do something for myself? I don't know.

This is a better quiz.

You scored as Remus Lupin. You're a calm, cool, optimistic person who doesn't dwell on the bad but looks more deeply into the good. You're wise and know much about the world, and though you teach your lessons to others, react humbly when complimented on your intelligence. You've suffered a lot in your life but are extremely accepting and suffer inwardly. You're a great friend to have as you're gentle but strong-minded. Remus Lupin 69% Neville Longbottom 66% Hermione Granger 66% Albus Dumbledore 66% Bellatrix Lestrange 63% Luna Lovegood 59% Sirius Black 56% Ron Weasley 56% Harry Potter 56% Severus Snape 50% Oliver Wood 50% Percy Weasley 47% Lord Voldemort 47% Draco Malfoy 19% Harry Potter Character Combatibility Test created with QuizFarm.com

Thanks to the bro for finding it. This fits me better. Off to Rusty's for a little get together.

Where are you now?

Jacks Mannequin- The Mixed Tape

This is morning
That's when I spend the most time
Thinking 'bout what I've given up
This is a warning
When you start the day just to close the curtains
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of
It was you I was thinking of

I read your letter
The one you left when you broke into my house
Retracing every step you made
And you said you meant it
And there's a piece of me in every single
Second of every single day
But if it's true then tell me how it got this way

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of
It was you I was thinking of

And I can't get to you
I can't get to you
I can't get to you

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I conduct a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
I swear to God this mix could sink the sun
But it was you I was thinking of
It was you I was thinking of

Where are you now?
Where are you now?

And this is my mixed tape for her
It's like I wrote every note
With my own fingers

God, Andrew's music still moves me as ever. Yeah I should be doing more important things, the things I tell myself I need to do. But I have the unfortunate knack of finding other things to do instead.

I'm going to kick some cancer ass.

Yep, that is what my mom said today. I realize I've been putting fluffy shit up recently. I guess I really haven't illuminated much lately into what has been going on in life.

Anyways, about a month ago, the doctors noticed some large cysts. For the doctors it seemed that is wasn't really a pressing matter. They could take their time setting up tests and the surgery to get rid of them. Heck, we even went to Disney World. Their thought was the masses were totally benign.

Today was the surgery. She was the first one on the board. Apparently, everything the doctors went in to do, was done well. No complications, except with the biopsy of the masses. It seems to have shocked even the surgeon, who was head of the division. Turns out it is ovarian cancer in the later stages.

I suppose shock is the word for it. It had somewhat crossed my mind, but it was just something in passing. The doctor speak had relegated the possibility to the back of my mind. But life throws the sickest curve balls.

But like she said, she is going to kick some cancer ass. I'm going to help her do it.

I now have a massive headache. But I'll be fine. I'll just be playing it by ear now for the next couple of months, hopefully years. Hope you understand.

Because I'm always...

stealing other people's quizzes.


Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Ha- yeah I guess I really am like Severus, although lacking in that whole love of the Dark Arts bit (unless that is what most people believe mathematics is).

Maybe sometime when I have time, I'll write something useful.

Sometimes...

Don't you just think you should have lived in a different time period? *I spent my weekend watching Little Women and the BBC Pride and Prejudice*

You scored as Jane Bennet. As someone who would rather see the good in people, Jane is a true pacifist and caregiver. At times, her shy temperament and naïve outlook of people can land her in a compliant position, but those who know her love her for her positive spirit and cheerful view of what surrounds her. Jane Bennet 66% Elinor Dashwood 66% Charlotte Lucas 59% Elizabeth Bennet 56% Marianne Dashwood 50% Emma Woodhouse 41% Lady Catherine 34% Which Jane Austen Character are You? created with QuizFarm.com

I really believe though that I am more like Charlotte Lucas than Jane.

I had such an unbelievable week at work last week...that i just wanted to sit at home by myself over the weekend. Lo, and behold, the rest of my family up and left on a trip, so I had sunday all to myself. Chilled out, made dinner for myself, which I haven't done in a long while. I should really force myself to help make a meal during the week. I miss cooking.

Less than one week until August, or time when I start working on my grad school stuff, that is hopefully if schtuff dies down at work. :oP on work.