Day 17

Anger and Frustration

I am frustrated with myself because there isn't enough time in the day to do all of the things that I used to get done 3 weeks ago.  What was so seamless with two people is so difficult by myself.  I can not seem to get into a rhythm that gets any sort of results.  I know I should try to put little tasks down for each day - like today I dusted.  I am hoping maybe tomorrow afternoon I can vacuum quickly.  I try to pay the bills whenever they come in - as quickly as possible.  I really would like the house to stay in working order - but if I am working, I'm not completely confident that will happen.

I am frustrated with work.  That is not a wholly new concept though.  I just keep telling myself that there are now 16 weeks left in the semester.  Just over 80 school days left.  For the next 20 or so of them, state assessment prep.  Then only 60 days more until I am done.  Sometimes I wonder why it is that I chose this, but that is a discussion for another day.

I am angry at the army.  I love my husband - he is fantastic.  But I can not understand why the army does not see this.  Why do they see the need to put him to work "clicking slides".  Really??  His years of schooling prepared him to click slides for someone else's presentation?  What's worse is he has already had this experience before during his last deployment. 

Why send him away for a month and half to get schooling in a new area (right before deployment) and once he gets downrange tell him he won't get to use his new skill at all?  That is a month and a half of time that we lost to be together.  What wrenches me even more, even though I was sad about him leaving, I was happy that (yeah I know dorky) he was happy about all this new schooling and getting to work on that stuff while he was over there.  Why would you do that to someone?  Set them up and then pull the rug out from underneath them.

Oh wait, I forgot.  I'm talking about the army.  The army has never really made any sense for me anyway - why should this be any different.

Now that I have myself all riled up - I suppose I should get to bed -> I intend on being cranky for my students tomorrow.