Well, I suppose it is time for a birthday update. Do I feel different? No. Do I feel better? No. Do I feel worse? Quite possibly so.
On Tuesday, I was surfing the web to find to my absolute joy and pleasure, that Apple had finally released their new imac computer ( http://www.apple.com/imac ). Now I have been waiting almost a year to get myself a new computer. My ibook (4 years old) has had several massive identity crises while I’ve had it. I was seriously considering, right before senior year, getting a new computer. But I talked myself out of it, thinking I could make it last one more year if I had to. I just really needed it to write papers and work instant messenger. Well the year went alright, it had another identity crisis as well as the cd-rom drive becoming a temperamental little bass-turd. All spring I’ve had my eye on the new G5 powermac machines. Super duper out of my price range. But once they unveiled this new computer, I knew this was the one...love at first sight. Well I get home, tell my parents all about it. Dad says…you don’t need one. We have two computers, you can use those. It isn’t like you need it. My mom somewhat came to my defense. But we all know me...what did I agree to...no computer. I’ll keep using my crappy old laptop...the concession I got was there is a phone line in your room so you can hook up the laptop to phone up in your room. Yippee-friggin’-do.
Yesterday, I spent most of my day at work trying to check out all the Master’s programs in the state of NJ. Most depressing thing I think I’ve done ever. Because of my work schedule, I can only take classes...either really early (8 am) in the morning or late at night (after 7). Well no school here…and I mean no, cause I’ve checked every single one, has any classes that fit in there. Screw me. There goes plan number 2 down the toilet. Yet again I make the mistake of telling my parents about it. My dad says, well then you need to leave your job in a year and get yourself out. Because if you’ve been out of school longer than a year, you’ll lose everything. Mom was little better. Ugh, I feel sick.
All I am trying to do is be...my own autonomous entity. I’m slowly realizing that it is really hard to do when you are still at home with your parents. They seem to have an opinion on every aspect of my life, if I tell them about it. I want to talk to them, but then I get preached at what is the best way to solve my problem. I don’t want that. I want to figure it out myself. But goodness, I am getting sick and tired of it. I am a smart intelligent person, or so I dilute myself. If I have questions or problems, I am not afraid to ask, but god, if I don’t ask, I don’t want to know.
Musical Interlude...Gavin deGraw’s I Don’t Wanna Be, the chorus...it is just a catchy tune, I might have to buy it from iTunes soon:
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
But on the happy birthday side of things:
My brother is super awesome. He sent me a Marcus Vick jersey, and get this...it actually is the right size. Wahooo. I heart Matt and football. I’ll be stylin’ it sometime soon.
Dana sent me this cute card, which Chloe picked out. It had a pug on it and everything. But she said a present was coming soon. Oooooo. I’m super excited about it. I heart presents.
Speaking of presents, Suzer also sent me something in the mail. She gave me these two super a-dork-able notebooks, one that has on the front Science Rocks and the other has I (picture of a calculator) Math. sigh...in heaven.
If you don’t think I say this enough…here it goes: I really miss my housie gals. Life doesn’t seem so carefree or full of adventure as it once was. I think I owe the fact that I’m not a mentally insane person to you all.
Well, life is crazy. I suppose I need to come up with a new life plan now, continue to use my slow little clamshell computer, and decide whether or not do anything this weekend. Right now I don’t know…maybe I’ll just redo my bedroom instead of go out, it is in dire need of redesign.
thanks...and oh yeah, happy birthday to me.
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