I was going to write on Day 20 - but I felt exhausted. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I have been waking up in the mornings...up to a half hour before I need to. In no way have I felt rested all week. I even woke up this wonderful fine Saturday morning at the moon-is-still-up hour of 4 am. What the heck is that all about?
I believe I picked up a cold from my students. Several of them have been in an out all week complaining of their throats hurting. Yesterday I spent the day trying not to be loud in an effort to keep my voice. I do not think it helped.
I ordered free mailing boxes from the post office (they are free). I've been waiting to get them all week. I have a thing or two I would like to mail to Andy, but do not feel like going out and buying a shipping box. God I am lazy.
I need to get my routine more settled. I think it is coming along but I really need to find some time to get on our elliptical machine more than once a week. I really do not want to have to go buy a larger pair of pants. Not fun.
I was a bit sad today when Andy told me he wasn't going to be on the KSU vs KU basketball game. I had gotten my hopes up to catch a glimpse of him. I need to stop doing that to myself. I have another 11+ months to go of this stuff. One of my students told me I should read Dear John - it's so good, it even made me cry in school today. To which I replied, just for that reason... no. I can not read that book.
I also fear that I am starting to become a shell - I am a person just going through the motions. My students pull me back every now and then - yes, they can be intelligent if they want to be. Rare. I should try to go exploring - I am sure there are neat things to do. I am reluctant with all this school work though. Maybe during the summer - June and July. Big plans - but we all know me - not so much the explorer.
I finished up reading the Gunslinger (again). I read it last year but did not really get into it. Andy has taken to reading my books so that we can talk about them. Problem is that I have issues with talking about books. I always have. It isn't that I do not enjoy reading - I do. I think it comes down to some grade school conversation where some teacher said I just do not have good comprehension skills. Andy has read all of Harry Potter and has started reading Ayn Rand. I on the other hand have not even come close to reading his books for a couple of reasons. 1. for the reason I stated above, 2. Stephen King scares the bejeezus out of me, 3. I very rarely read historical or philosophical manifestos (history the other subject I have no brain for). Reading nonfiction does not to much for me either - unless it is scientifically related.
So in an effort to feel closer to Andy's brain, I am reading the Dark Tower Series. The Gunslinger improves on second reading, but I still do not feel in it as one says. We will try book 2 and see if it pulls me in some more.
Babbling - go be productive me...
Day 17
Anger and Frustration
I am frustrated with myself because there isn't enough time in the day to do all of the things that I used to get done 3 weeks ago. What was so seamless with two people is so difficult by myself. I can not seem to get into a rhythm that gets any sort of results. I know I should try to put little tasks down for each day - like today I dusted. I am hoping maybe tomorrow afternoon I can vacuum quickly. I try to pay the bills whenever they come in - as quickly as possible. I really would like the house to stay in working order - but if I am working, I'm not completely confident that will happen.
I am frustrated with work. That is not a wholly new concept though. I just keep telling myself that there are now 16 weeks left in the semester. Just over 80 school days left. For the next 20 or so of them, state assessment prep. Then only 60 days more until I am done. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I chose this, but that is a discussion for another day.
I am angry at the army. I love my husband - he is fantastic. But I can not understand why the army does not see this. Why do they see the need to put him to work "clicking slides". Really?? His years of schooling prepared him to click slides for someone else's presentation? What's worse is he has already had this experience before during his last deployment.
Why send him away for a month and half to get schooling in a new area (right before deployment) and once he gets downrange tell him he won't get to use his new skill at all? That is a month and a half of time that we lost to be together. What wrenches me even more, even though I was sad about him leaving, I was happy that (yeah I know dorky) he was happy about all this new schooling and getting to work on that stuff while he was over there. Why would you do that to someone? Set them up and then pull the rug out from underneath them.
Oh wait, I forgot. I'm talking about the army. The army has never really made any sense for me anyway - why should this be any different.
Now that I have myself all riled up - I suppose I should get to bed -> I intend on being cranky for my students tomorrow.
I am frustrated with myself because there isn't enough time in the day to do all of the things that I used to get done 3 weeks ago. What was so seamless with two people is so difficult by myself. I can not seem to get into a rhythm that gets any sort of results. I know I should try to put little tasks down for each day - like today I dusted. I am hoping maybe tomorrow afternoon I can vacuum quickly. I try to pay the bills whenever they come in - as quickly as possible. I really would like the house to stay in working order - but if I am working, I'm not completely confident that will happen.
I am frustrated with work. That is not a wholly new concept though. I just keep telling myself that there are now 16 weeks left in the semester. Just over 80 school days left. For the next 20 or so of them, state assessment prep. Then only 60 days more until I am done. Sometimes I wonder why it is that I chose this, but that is a discussion for another day.
I am angry at the army. I love my husband - he is fantastic. But I can not understand why the army does not see this. Why do they see the need to put him to work "clicking slides". Really?? His years of schooling prepared him to click slides for someone else's presentation? What's worse is he has already had this experience before during his last deployment.
Why send him away for a month and half to get schooling in a new area (right before deployment) and once he gets downrange tell him he won't get to use his new skill at all? That is a month and a half of time that we lost to be together. What wrenches me even more, even though I was sad about him leaving, I was happy that (yeah I know dorky) he was happy about all this new schooling and getting to work on that stuff while he was over there. Why would you do that to someone? Set them up and then pull the rug out from underneath them.
Oh wait, I forgot. I'm talking about the army. The army has never really made any sense for me anyway - why should this be any different.
Now that I have myself all riled up - I suppose I should get to bed -> I intend on being cranky for my students tomorrow.
Day 14
Go me - two weeks down. Isn't that amazing? I am actually surprised at how quickly it has gone - although some moments have taken longer to get through than others.
Managed 3 weeks done with the school year. By my calculations, there are only 17 more left to go. There has been a little hoopla at the school recently. First, there was an inspection of the school cafeteria. That did not go over to well. Apparently, lots of poop, flies, and rodents. Consequently, I have a lot of my students asking for money more than usual or complaining how much they can not go to McDonald's anymore for lunch. And yes, I have told them no on the first account, and there is always Panera and Taco Bell for the second.
Secondly, the days off for snow have caused an uproar. Now, I have no issue making up the day at the end of the year. Mind you this means coming in on June 1st. But apparently this is not the option. There was a big Board of Ed meeting where they decided to extend the school day by 12 minutes (5 minutes earlier start time and 7 minute later end time) - thus ensuring that we are covered for 2 more snow days and we get out by May 28th. This does not really bother me either. But my students were not happy. Most of them have difficulty showing up to first hour anyway at 7:45 am. There has not been word as to how the minutes will get added to the schedule. But if they decide to just extend first hour and 7th hour I am totally down with that - I have PLC and Plan time both of those hours.
I pretty much laid out the next month or so of teaching. Hurray, for giving my students the opportunity to learn all of the standards before they take the state assessment. I hope that they will do well. I have a sinking feeling about that but I am trying not to get dragged down by it. My students in general - gosh, I feel like I finally get one group to understand the simple idea that this is school, and the group who figured it out the day before totally forgets. I can not win with this group. It must be bad. When I attend the district new teacher meeting and they ask the new teachers what the title of a movie for the first year would be called, I responded with the Class of 2012. The district heads asked for an explanation - which I gave them. There response was surprise, laughter, and ooooooh, that class. Good luck with that. But I shouldn't complain. I wouldn't want a boring class. Drama just suits me - even though there is no drama in mathematics.
Major home battle - I noticed that one of our outside lights above the garage is out. I went out two days ago - climbed on the ladder, and spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to get the lightbulb out. No success. Today, I was staring at another homes' garage lamps whilst walking Silvio and figured it out. So I got out the ladder again. Carefully climbed up and after about 15 minutes of unscrewing screws that I couldn't see (no way in heck I was climbing up that high) I managed to get the top off the lamp and the light bulb out. Now I need to go to Home Depot to buy some similar bulbs and I will be up on the ladder again.
You can send thanks for this post to my Double Bloody Mary that I just had. At least I no longer feel the aches and pains of the week of school anymore.
Managed 3 weeks done with the school year. By my calculations, there are only 17 more left to go. There has been a little hoopla at the school recently. First, there was an inspection of the school cafeteria. That did not go over to well. Apparently, lots of poop, flies, and rodents. Consequently, I have a lot of my students asking for money more than usual or complaining how much they can not go to McDonald's anymore for lunch. And yes, I have told them no on the first account, and there is always Panera and Taco Bell for the second.
Secondly, the days off for snow have caused an uproar. Now, I have no issue making up the day at the end of the year. Mind you this means coming in on June 1st. But apparently this is not the option. There was a big Board of Ed meeting where they decided to extend the school day by 12 minutes (5 minutes earlier start time and 7 minute later end time) - thus ensuring that we are covered for 2 more snow days and we get out by May 28th. This does not really bother me either. But my students were not happy. Most of them have difficulty showing up to first hour anyway at 7:45 am. There has not been word as to how the minutes will get added to the schedule. But if they decide to just extend first hour and 7th hour I am totally down with that - I have PLC and Plan time both of those hours.
I pretty much laid out the next month or so of teaching. Hurray, for giving my students the opportunity to learn all of the standards before they take the state assessment. I hope that they will do well. I have a sinking feeling about that but I am trying not to get dragged down by it. My students in general - gosh, I feel like I finally get one group to understand the simple idea that this is school, and the group who figured it out the day before totally forgets. I can not win with this group. It must be bad. When I attend the district new teacher meeting and they ask the new teachers what the title of a movie for the first year would be called, I responded with the Class of 2012. The district heads asked for an explanation - which I gave them. There response was surprise, laughter, and ooooooh, that class. Good luck with that. But I shouldn't complain. I wouldn't want a boring class. Drama just suits me - even though there is no drama in mathematics.
Major home battle - I noticed that one of our outside lights above the garage is out. I went out two days ago - climbed on the ladder, and spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to get the lightbulb out. No success. Today, I was staring at another homes' garage lamps whilst walking Silvio and figured it out. So I got out the ladder again. Carefully climbed up and after about 15 minutes of unscrewing screws that I couldn't see (no way in heck I was climbing up that high) I managed to get the top off the lamp and the light bulb out. Now I need to go to Home Depot to buy some similar bulbs and I will be up on the ladder again.
You can send thanks for this post to my Double Bloody Mary that I just had. At least I no longer feel the aches and pains of the week of school anymore.
Day 11
I made through to double digits. I suppose you can call that an accomplishment.
I have been waking up most mornings feeling sick. This morning was especially awful. I am pretty sure that it is just how my body is handling everything. I am naturally a bundle of stress and I internalize everything. Go figure that I feel like poop every day.
At least there are only 3 more days this week. I am kicking myself in the behind because I spent a lot of time getting materials ready for a the next couple of weeks. I found out that I need to spend the next nearly 4 weeks prepping for state assessments, which are the first week in March. Is that seriously how quickly things are moving along? Once the assessments are over, then it is spring break. What?? Spring Break. But then I have to go about 10 weeks to go - shoot maybe I'll manage to cover like 2 more units in that time. There are 12 total in the book slated for the year. I will have managed to thoroughly cover about 9 of them. Not so hot considering the speed some of the other teachers are at. Oh well, I should not compare. But I suppose the good thing is that most of the prep work for state assessments is already laid out for me. I do not need to make it all up.
My parents have some time locked away for Disney over spring break. I think I might go. I might just need a change of scenery.
Oh it isn't a big secret as to the large purchase - if you do not count last night's large online clothing purchase. We are thinking about upgrading one of the cars to a larger (SUV type) vehicle. I would feel safer with a vehicle that is higher off the ground and has all wheel drive. Andy wants something with a V8. After driving a few, I agree with him that most of those big vehicles need an 8 cylinder to really move the vehicle. Too bad, there are really only 6-7 SUV types with V8's in them. Even worse, with that price-tag I could probably by 2 or 3 of those tiny little prius'. Not that we can really use a Prius - especially when we move.
Blah. Bed time I think.
I have been waking up most mornings feeling sick. This morning was especially awful. I am pretty sure that it is just how my body is handling everything. I am naturally a bundle of stress and I internalize everything. Go figure that I feel like poop every day.
At least there are only 3 more days this week. I am kicking myself in the behind because I spent a lot of time getting materials ready for a the next couple of weeks. I found out that I need to spend the next nearly 4 weeks prepping for state assessments, which are the first week in March. Is that seriously how quickly things are moving along? Once the assessments are over, then it is spring break. What?? Spring Break. But then I have to go about 10 weeks to go - shoot maybe I'll manage to cover like 2 more units in that time. There are 12 total in the book slated for the year. I will have managed to thoroughly cover about 9 of them. Not so hot considering the speed some of the other teachers are at. Oh well, I should not compare. But I suppose the good thing is that most of the prep work for state assessments is already laid out for me. I do not need to make it all up.
My parents have some time locked away for Disney over spring break. I think I might go. I might just need a change of scenery.
Oh it isn't a big secret as to the large purchase - if you do not count last night's large online clothing purchase. We are thinking about upgrading one of the cars to a larger (SUV type) vehicle. I would feel safer with a vehicle that is higher off the ground and has all wheel drive. Andy wants something with a V8. After driving a few, I agree with him that most of those big vehicles need an 8 cylinder to really move the vehicle. Too bad, there are really only 6-7 SUV types with V8's in them. Even worse, with that price-tag I could probably by 2 or 3 of those tiny little prius'. Not that we can really use a Prius - especially when we move.
Blah. Bed time I think.
Day 8
Came complete with phone calls galore. It was damn foggy out - literally all day.
But I managed to get a package sent, and buy a ton of frozen meals. I love cooking - but it's no fun if you are just cooking for yourself. Besides, getting all the necessary ingredients is the same if not more than the frozen meals. I think I should be set for a little while - well at least until my Lunchables run out. Yes, yes - I eat lunchables. But I get the Deli Select style lunchables with actual lunch meat, none of that processed stuff.
I didn't get much done in way of school work - I got a journal entry done for my internship and am getting some laundry finished now. So I guess the day has been productive. Thankfully I have another two days left.
As for the thoughts from yesterday, it seems like the district is going to have a shortfall in the budget next year. The plan is - that the district is thinking about taking away our PLC time to cover for it (essentially we go from teaching 5 classes to 6 classes a day). In the PLC time, the teachers are able to get in all the training sessions (like sexual harrassment), discuss things like career clusters, diversity, NCA, and do student interventions. I have a feeling that if they take it away, there goes my job. I'm not the only person with that feeling either. I don't intend on posting much more than that for now. But it would be such a waste to have gone through all this extra schooling, get my certificate, then not have a job next year. Oh well, I'm sure I could find something else with which to bide my time.
Random - We have a Netflix subscription. We have been holding on to Be Kind Rewind for a while, and I actually got around to watching that today. Not a big fan of Jack Black in some of his other movies, but this one was actually really good. A little goofy, but really cute. I am trying to fill up my queue with movies but I have not been paying attention to movies at all. Needless to say, I have no clue what to watch. The next three movies are The Hangover, UP, and The Ugly Truth. Any other movies I should add to my list (I think we only saw New Moon, and Harry Potter in the theater - oh and Star Trek)?
But I managed to get a package sent, and buy a ton of frozen meals. I love cooking - but it's no fun if you are just cooking for yourself. Besides, getting all the necessary ingredients is the same if not more than the frozen meals. I think I should be set for a little while - well at least until my Lunchables run out. Yes, yes - I eat lunchables. But I get the Deli Select style lunchables with actual lunch meat, none of that processed stuff.
I didn't get much done in way of school work - I got a journal entry done for my internship and am getting some laundry finished now. So I guess the day has been productive. Thankfully I have another two days left.
As for the thoughts from yesterday, it seems like the district is going to have a shortfall in the budget next year. The plan is - that the district is thinking about taking away our PLC time to cover for it (essentially we go from teaching 5 classes to 6 classes a day). In the PLC time, the teachers are able to get in all the training sessions (like sexual harrassment), discuss things like career clusters, diversity, NCA, and do student interventions. I have a feeling that if they take it away, there goes my job. I'm not the only person with that feeling either. I don't intend on posting much more than that for now. But it would be such a waste to have gone through all this extra schooling, get my certificate, then not have a job next year. Oh well, I'm sure I could find something else with which to bide my time.
Random - We have a Netflix subscription. We have been holding on to Be Kind Rewind for a while, and I actually got around to watching that today. Not a big fan of Jack Black in some of his other movies, but this one was actually really good. A little goofy, but really cute. I am trying to fill up my queue with movies but I have not been paying attention to movies at all. Needless to say, I have no clue what to watch. The next three movies are The Hangover, UP, and The Ugly Truth. Any other movies I should add to my list (I think we only saw New Moon, and Harry Potter in the theater - oh and Star Trek)?
Day 7
One whole week is gone. I feel drained on all levels. I hit 9 pm tonight and was ready to pass out. This week has been enlightening on so many levels....
I have a a couple of couples in my classes. i was going to share the absurd story of the couples, but i thought better of it. But it is in fact a crazy story. And sad too.
I had a student whole called me totally incompetent last semester and got switched out of my class. This student is back in my class again- the first words out of their mouth- "Ms. G, you are like my favorite teacher here". She was dead serious. Short term memory strikes again- believe me, I was at a loss for words.
Andy is finally settled in Iraq. If you want to send mail, you can do that now. I plan on sending a package this weekend.
Silly me for starting this so late- I think I will have to finish the thoughts tomorrow.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Day 4
This is post a Cry - Fest.
Mom left today. I cried halfway to work (it's a short drive from the Manhattan airport to MHS). I pulled myself together - all before 7 am. I put in a full day of work - cause today it wasn't teaching, it felt like work. Andy called at lunch time for a few minutes. :o) I still had 2 more periods left to go in the day.
Made it okay through the end of the day. Managed to get my papers graded while still at school. Left at 4. Picked up some milk on the way home. Remembered to put out the garbage for pick up. I had high hopes for the evening - but it has gone the way of the dodo. I will give myself this day - I will pick up tomorrow, try to be more upbeat and productive.
Still in the process of buying something huge - after this is over I can tell all if shopping really does make one feel better.
Mom left today. I cried halfway to work (it's a short drive from the Manhattan airport to MHS). I pulled myself together - all before 7 am. I put in a full day of work - cause today it wasn't teaching, it felt like work. Andy called at lunch time for a few minutes. :o) I still had 2 more periods left to go in the day.
Made it okay through the end of the day. Managed to get my papers graded while still at school. Left at 4. Picked up some milk on the way home. Remembered to put out the garbage for pick up. I had high hopes for the evening - but it has gone the way of the dodo. I will give myself this day - I will pick up tomorrow, try to be more upbeat and productive.
Still in the process of buying something huge - after this is over I can tell all if shopping really does make one feel better.
Day 1
First- thanks for being supportive. I really need to thank my mom who flew out to help with this whole start of deployment. I made it through day 1- a lot of stopping, checking myself, and deep breathing. Silvio spent some time this morning on the hunt for Andy. That made me quite sad.
I think I can do this- so long as I don't get myself in a tizzy while teaching. My goal- no breakdowns at work. First test of this will be when mom heads back east and I really am by myself.
I think a shopping spree might be in order... We will see what I end up getting.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Sad
Another deployment has begun. I feel so sad, tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious. On top of everything else, I picked up a cold during this first week back at school. I don't feel like I have the energy to feel all of these feelings.
But the upside was that the weather provided me time off to spend with Andy. So I suppose that I shouldn't complain about the sub-zero weather. It doesn't make up for everything that will get missed this year: all the spring semester teaching shenanigans, all those crazy holidays, our 2nd anniversary (here's to hoping the army will allows us to actually celebrate number 3 after separating us for the first two), hopefully getting my actual teaching license, teaching at CTC on post, our birthdays (again the army has taken more of those away then we have gotten to share), holidays, and the everday little things.
Well, I should try to sleep. At least work keeps me busy.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
End of 2009
Well here I am staring down the start of a new year. I am a bit intimidated by it all. In just under 10 days, Andy will be gone for the duration of the year. That means I am stuck with handling everything with the new house, taxes, my job, the cars, shoot everything. One would think that I managed pretty darn well on my own while in graduate school. This should be a snap. Somehow, being out in Kansas, over 700 miles away from any sort of relations, seems so much more difficult.
I plan on sending lots of packages and hoping that family and relatives will send some too. I am excited to use Google's talk feature - hurray for video-conferencing. For right now, I know that most of his battle will be against the dreaded paperwork, but still I am frightened.
As for my expectations for myself for this year, the big one is to try not to be too much of a workaholic, get my exercise on, do some more knitting, and possibly try some new recipes (although with only 1 person in the house not sure how often that will be). I would like to explore more of Kansas as well but I would need to do all the driving myself :oP. Lastly, I hope that we can manage to sock away some money this year - I don't need much in way of food and shouldn't be doing too much shopping, although every now and again I get the urge.
That is about it. Not totally gung-ho about the new year but now super depressed either.
I plan on sending lots of packages and hoping that family and relatives will send some too. I am excited to use Google's talk feature - hurray for video-conferencing. For right now, I know that most of his battle will be against the dreaded paperwork, but still I am frightened.
As for my expectations for myself for this year, the big one is to try not to be too much of a workaholic, get my exercise on, do some more knitting, and possibly try some new recipes (although with only 1 person in the house not sure how often that will be). I would like to explore more of Kansas as well but I would need to do all the driving myself :oP. Lastly, I hope that we can manage to sock away some money this year - I don't need much in way of food and shouldn't be doing too much shopping, although every now and again I get the urge.
That is about it. Not totally gung-ho about the new year but now super depressed either.
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